He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
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