Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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