I want to have your abortion
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
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