If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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