just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
