everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I just blew my weed a kiss
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
