ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Randomize
