i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
