my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
