I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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