I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
You work out of a Hotel?
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Randomize
