I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
