SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Randomize
