Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
