so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
