How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Even my vagina gasped.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Randomize
