Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Randomize
