Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
