you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
