the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I just gargled with NyQuil
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
