the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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