The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
