I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
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