I murdered the dance floor call the cops
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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