well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
There r osticjed everywhere
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Randomize
