Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
