i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
