Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
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