Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Randomize
