Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
you win again, gameday.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
