i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Randomize
