what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
