East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Congratulations! We have a period
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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