Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
My brain says no but my pants say off.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Holy sore nipples Batman
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize