Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Randomize
