When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
