Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
