I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
