The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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