Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
