great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize