Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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