That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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