I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
