got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
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