Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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