Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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