guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
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