Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
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