so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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