I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
