similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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