kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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