i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
