What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Randomize
