Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
