I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
