hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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