i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Little spoons don't ask big questions
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
