He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
