This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
