question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
