are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
