I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize